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This almost made me cry
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ustace bhaggs



Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 3
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:43 pm    Post subject: This almost made me cry Reply with quote

So I was looking up something on IMDB and found this on a thread.....I hope it was a joke.....really


I love this film, i reckon it would be amazing to see this remade with some bigger actors. Basically keep the storyline the same

But instead cast (have had to westernise it a bit as well)

Orland Bloom - Jack Burton
Kirsten Dunce - Gracie Law
Jet Li - Wang Chi
Steven Segal - David Lopan

The three storms - John Cena, Vin Diesel, and the Rock

Anyone else think of other good people to cast as well??



argh
Ustace
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theporkchopexpress
Porkchop
Porkchop


Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 75
Location: south jersey

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you cant improve on perfection
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wingkong
Site Admin


Joined: 31 Dec 1969
Posts: 287
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 10:18 pm    Post subject: Re: This almost made me cry Reply with quote

ustace bhaggs wrote:

Orlando Bloom - Jack Burton


Good Lord... Shocked
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Bazooka Goof
Bazooka
Bazooka


Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 668
Location: Chicago, USA

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 6:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ustace, some people on IMDB have too much time on their hands... Rolling Eyes


(Welcome to the Forum, by the way.) Smile
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Mike D
Wingkong Elite


Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 64
Location: Athens, GA

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Orlando Bloom? Might as well cast Rosanne Barr. I can't think of a less appropriate choice for Jack Burton. The rest of it was laughable as well, especially chunky meatheads like Vin Diesel and John Cena as the Storms, but Orlando? Somebody's on crack.

Or maybe it was meant as a joke?

Mike
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theporkchopexpress
Porkchop
Porkchop


Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 75
Location: south jersey

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

theporkchopexpress wrote:
you cant improve on perfection
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Mike D
Wingkong Elite


Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 64
Location: Athens, GA

PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone's jumping on the guy who made the original post, to the point where he's actively crying about it on the message board. It's only a matter of time before he tells us all he was just trying to say something entertaining and we all misunderstood him and everyone misunderstands him including his dumb parents and he doesn't even know why he even tries and some girl at school won't go out with him and he hopes we're all happy with ourselves and this is probably what it was like in Nazi Germany (he already whined about the First Amendment, so now somebody's gotta drag the Nazis into it somehow) and GOODBYE.

By the way, BTLC is only pulling a 6.8 rating on the database. This is unacceptable. You should all join IMDB and give the film the 10 it deserves.

Mike
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theporkchopexpress
Porkchop
Porkchop


Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 75
Location: south jersey

PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

do you know Forrest Griffin?
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Lo Pan
Storm Level 1


Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 160
Location: Underneath Chinatown

PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Orlando Bloom? Now that is just outright blastphemy.....
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-OldGeezerPan-
Storm Level 1


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 192
Location: Virginia, USA

PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 12:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good heavens. I read that and tears formed.
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Bazooka Goof
Bazooka
Bazooka


Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 668
Location: Chicago, USA

PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of Steven Seagal as Lo Pan, I found these on IMDB.com- they're like the "Chuck Norris Facts", except they go in the opposite direction...

Since 1951, the year Steven Seagal was born, the “slicked back hair with ponytail” look has decreased in popularity by 13,000 percent.

Steven Seagal waits for girls to call him. He is still waiting.

Steven Seagal honestly believes that he has no friends because everyone is afraid of him.

Steven Seagal would not like this bulletin, but he is too busy viewing the profiles of 14 year-old girls to read this.

If Steven Seagal were not an actor, he would be found getting drunk at local bars and telling everyone that he is in the CIA.

Even the Japanese find Steven Seagal’s attempt at Karaoke insulting.

Steven Seagal may tell women that he is a 7th degree blackbelt, but actually he is only a 5th degree blackbelt.

Secretly, Steven Seagal was impressed with Napoleon Dynamite’s “sweet moves.”

Steven Seagal feels that most rock songs could use “less cowbell.”

Steven Seagal went to go see the movie “Bareback Mountain”, he did enjoy it, but he tells everyone that he accidentally went to the wrong type of movie theater.

Steven Seagal is always a groomsman, never a groom.

Women don’t wear their hair in ponytails anymore. Can you guess why?

When Steven Seagal talks, no one listens.

Think of a hot woman. Steven Seagal has fantasized about her.

Steven Seagal is so lonely that asks telemarketers to keep him on their list for future sales calls.

Homeless people ignore Steven Seagal when they see him coming.

Steven Seagal yells “Reverse Racism” when he can’t get a job.

When Kelly Le Brock disappeared at the end of the movie “Weird Science”, she appeared on Steven Seagal’s lap just moments later.

Steven Seagal’s children make up lies about who their father is.

Steven Seagal separates his recyclables because he has plenty of time.

Steven Seagal has an electric guitar and amplifier. Yet his volume control only goes up to 9.

Steven Seagal feels that the reason why he is ignored is because he always wears black and no one can see him.

While his box-office appeal has somewhat declined from his halcyon blockbusters of the mid-'90s, Seagal still has a very loyal fan base. Loyal, yes. Large, no.

Steven Seagal uses extra thick condoms. Not because he is afraid of pregnancy and diseases, but because it makes his cooke look bigger.

Steven Seagal once challenged a woman to a “Who Has More Testicles” contest. Steven lost.

Steven Seagal sometimes lifts the phone off of the receiver to make sure that the phone still works.

After hearing the reassuring sound of the dial tone, he wonders if someone attempted to call him at the exact moment he took the phone off the hook.

Steven Seagal tried out for the TV show “Prison Break”, but with his poor skills, they would have to rename the show to “Prison.”

Steven Seagal has difficulties getting into busy nightclubs. Sometimes his entire evening is spent waiting in line until the club closes.

If the United States wants to dominate the world, they should make everyone watch a Steven Seagal movie. My guess is that more people would rather surrender than to finish watching the movie.

Steven Seagal thinks the show “Lost” is about him.

In France, Steven Seagal is a national pop singing sensation.

Most everyone has Steven Seagal’s phone number saved as “Don’t Answer” on their cell phones.

Steven Seagal is 75% water, 25 % body double and ALL ponytail!

Steven Seagal thought that Little Debbie was a real person.

Steven Seagal’s ponytail brings all the hippies to the yard, and he’s like "it's longer than yours". Damn right it's longer than yours! He could show you, but he'd have to charge.
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Mike D
Wingkong Elite


Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 64
Location: Athens, GA

PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

theporkchopexpress wrote:
do you know Forrest Griffin?


He's not a personal friend, but I've worked out with him and Rory Singer. Along with Rory's brother Adam they used to teach MMA on the University campus. Our Hapkido class used to crosstrain with them. Although Hapkido teaches solid groundwork, I still learned a lot from the Singer brothers and Forrest.

The Singer brothers were engineering students from NJ who decided to come to UGA. They were originally going to go back north to find jobs, but the MMA thing got so good to them they decided to stick around and open a gym.

Mike
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zerosex666



Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 9
Location: Los Angeles California

PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:25 pm    Post subject: Who the F*CK is orlando bloom? Reply with quote

Who is Orlando bloom?? I'm sorry but the last movie I saw in theaters was The Devils Rejects and I saw it twice in one day I was soo excited and impressed. That was the only movie i've actually gone to the theaters to see in years. and i'm like 22! I personally think new movies are horrible. The 80's were the best in my opinion. ;p
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Bazooka Goof
Bazooka
Bazooka


Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 668
Location: Chicago, USA

PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Who the F*CK is orlando bloom? Reply with quote

zerosex666 wrote:
Who is Orlando bloom??


Here's his IMDB profile...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0089217/

If you saw "Pirates of the Carribean" or one of those "Lord of the Rings" flicks, you'll recognize him.
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theporkchopexpress
Porkchop
Porkchop


Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 75
Location: south jersey

PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike D wrote:
theporkchopexpress wrote:
do you know Forrest Griffin?


He's not a personal friend, but I've worked out with him and Rory Singer. Along with Rory's brother Adam they used to teach MMA on the University campus. Our Hapkido class used to crosstrain with them. Although Hapkido teaches solid groundwork, I still learned a lot from the Singer brothers and Forrest.

The Singer brothers were engineering students from NJ who decided to come to UGA. They were originally going to go back north to find jobs, but the MMA thing got so good to them they decided to stick around and open a gym.

Mike



do you know Blake Bowman?

blake is my hero
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